Paris Hilton Got Engaged To Some Random Guy & The Ring Is Insane

If you grew up as a Betch-in-Training, Paris Hilton was one of your idols. From the Juicy tracksuits to the T-mobile Sidekick, anything Paris had, we wanted too. Now, the queen of is getting married. TBH we honestly could not be more excited to see what kind of pink, sparkly extravaganza this wedding turns out to be. Here’s everything we know about her upcoming nuptials. The Guy According to , the pair met at an Oscar party eight years ago. They didn’t really hit it off until years later. Paris made it IG official back in February.   #BirthdaySelfie with my loves ✨✨ A post shared by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on Feb 18, 2017 at 7:39pm PST If you’re like, …

4 Ridiculous (But Effective) Ways Doctors Used To Save Lives

Without the benefit of hindsight, all medical innovations look like crazy people doing crazily stupid things. The first guy who injected himself with polio was by any definition a madman, but he was a madman who wound up saving millions of people, so it’s all good. But this nobly psychotic approach to healthcare has resulted in a whole slew of really weird procedures that are equal parts learned medicine and witch doctor chicanery. And some of them worked like a charm. For example … Read Next 3 Women Tested For Pregnancies By Injecting Urine into Frogs Modern folk don’t fully appreciate what an amazing convenience pregnancy testing kits are. Simply pick up a little plastic stick at the dollar store …

Riverdale Recap: Riverdale Is Broken Betches

RiverdaleRiverdaleThe episode begins with Archie’s first day of prison, which looks suspiciously like a wet t-shirt contest. I’m finding it hard to believe that these guards would power hose JUVENILES like they’re rabid dogs, but okay. This isn’t Shawshank, it’s Riverdale! An episode of Riverdale or soft core porn? You decide.  So I guess they’ll just be normal, run-of-the-mill incest babies with webbed feet, but no flying. Good.Because if that’s the case then I’m genuinely concerned for my health. Back in the jailhouse, Archie meets his cellmate for the first time and his name is Mad Dog. Jesus Christ. Is no one called, like, Jimmy anymore? No more Will? What about Dan? COME ON CW, YOU’RE KILLING ME. View this …

A Breakdown Of The Baby Prostitutes On This Season Of ‘Are You The One’ Betches

cast announcementAre You The One: Season of FateAndrew Couture, 24 $7.50 and a half empty pack of gum that says he’s the douchiest guy on this show. Asia Woodley, 22 Brett Ferri, 26 Bria Hamilton, 21 MTV as a “black republican and Trump supporter.” So basically Cam is a robot created in a lab by drunk MTV scientists designed to create mass conflict and carnage. Someone needs to find his kill switch early in the season if the cast expects to survive. Cali Trepp, 24 Daniel’s cast bio has nothing but nice things to say about him. He’s described as hot-tempered, jealous, unfaithful, and has a partying lifestyle. Well f*ck me up right now, I’m in.   Hi Daniel, don’t …

Is Lady Gaga In Love With Bradley Cooper? An Investigation Betches

Ever since Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper started doing press for A Star Is Born last fall, it’s been clear that they have a very special connection with each other. They both respect the work that the other does, and it also really seems like they could be f*cking. Or at least, it really seems like Lady Gaga wants to f*ck Bradley Cooper. The internet has been full of memes and jokes about them being in love for months now, and I’m here to look at what actually might be going on. Of course, I don’t actually know anything about any of this, so please don’t attack me in DMs. I’m just your average person with two eyes and access to the …

The Most Random People In Taylor Swift’s New Video

Taylor Swift released her latest single, “You Need To Calm Down,” on Friday, and of course I had thoughts right off the bat. I still like the song, and it’s definitely been stuck in my head all weekend. This morning, Taylor dropped the video for the song, and she’s really not playing around here. There are about a million celebrities in the video, many of them famous members of the LGBTQ community. Many of the inclusions in the video make perfect sense, like executive producer Todrick Hall, and known lesbian and friend of Taylor Swift Hayley Kiyoko (who also happens to be my girl crush). But Taylor really pulled out all the stops here, and there are some cameos in …

NXIVM Sex Cult Leader Keith Raniere Found Guilty Betches

If you aren’t familiar with NXIVM, it was a sex cult under the guise of being a “self-help” group that was extremely brutal and abusive to women. Pronounced like the heartburn medication (sorry, their public relations team), it was built on members recruiting new members to try and advance their “personal growth,” and particularly in Hollywood, their careers. If you’re interested in a full on deep-dive into their inner workings, and how is involved, I recommend our podcast ’s that goes all into this. Listen below. As previously mentioned, NXIVM found a way to work itself into Hollywood and get some high-profile members to join, like Smallville actress Allison Mack and Seagram liquor heir Clare Bronfman, who were also found guilty …

Big Baller Brand Now Selling Tees For $5 At Local Gyms

LaVar Ball’s Big Baller Brand is essentially in the grave, but there’s still some BBB merch to be had on the cheap if you’re looking to grab some apparel before it’s officially extinct. And this time it won’t cost you an arm and a leg. As seen in the tweet embedded below, the Big Baller Brand clearance sale was in full swing at a local volleyball tournament. BBB-branded tees that were once priced at $50 are now being sold for just $5, while a bundle including a shirt, hoodie, sneakers and pair of socks is listed for $100. Remember, Lonzo Ball’s ZO2 sneakers infamously retailed for $495 when they first launched. Back in May, not long after Big Baller Brand co-founder Alan Foster reportedly stole more than $1.5 …

Shareef O’Neal Shows Off Epic Photorealistic Tattoo Of His Dad

Shaquille O’Neal had a plethora of memorable moments during his Hall of Fame career, including that epic alley-oop against the Portland Trail Blazers in Game 7 of the 2000 Western Conference Finals. That image holds a special place in the heart of Shaq’s son, Shareef, who was in the crowd when it all went down. In fact, Shareef recently commissioned well known tattoo artist Steve Wiebe to etch that moment on his right calf. The UCLA star took to instagram to share some photos of the tattoo process, as well as the finished product, with his 1.9M followers. The caption reads: “MAN, this picture always had a very special meaning to me , my dad pointing to me after he catches …

Paris Hilton Got Engaged To Some Random Guy & The Ring Is Insane

If you grew up as a Betch-in-Training, Paris Hilton was one of your idols. From the Juicy tracksuits to the T-mobile Sidekick, anything Paris had, we wanted too. Now, the queen of is getting married. TBH we honestly could not be more excited to see what kind of pink, sparkly extravaganza this wedding turns out to be. Here’s everything we know about her upcoming nuptials. The Guy According to , the pair met at an Oscar party eight years ago. They didn’t really hit it off until years later. Paris made it IG official back in February.   #BirthdaySelfie with my loves ✨✨ A post shared by Paris Hilton (@parishilton) on Feb 18, 2017 at 7:39pm PST If you’re like, …

5 Games That Were Released Hilariously Broken

Making video games might seem like a sweet gig when you’re in junior high, when games are nothing but rocket launchers and yelling racial slurs on Xbox Live. But it’s actually super hard work, and not everybody can do it. Not just cheapo indie games get released in a garbage state. Even the biggest-budget titles can wind up more as cautionary tale than quality entertainment. For example … Astute readers may have already spotted the problem: You could only see the tattoo by looking down, meaning you were constantly taken out of the game to ogle your own cleavage. A further problem: You had to be able to see said tits whenever you glanced downward, and that got in the …

24 Times Fans Completely And Utterly Lost Their Minds

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it. Remember those stories about fans screaming until they fainted at Beatles concerts? Boy, fans in the past sure were kooky, amirite? But as it turns out, insane, out-of-control fandom is alive and well in 2018. Crazed fans are still completely losing their minds, jobs, money, and worse, over celebrities. For example … 23 Entry by T. S. Obiech 20 Entry by Zanandi Botes 17 Entry by Harvey Sapigao 14 Entry by Harvey Sapigao 11 Entry by PookieJones 8 Entry by Giovenna 5 Entry by Maclise 2 Entry by Garrote Want in on this? Pictofacts Contest: Your Most Cringeworthy Dating/Relationship/Love Stories Pictofacts Contest: …

5 Times Justin Bieber And Hailey Baldwin Looked Like Twins Betches

They say “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward,” and here at Betches, we love making it awkward. Why? Because it’s funny af as objective third parties who are TOTALLY not jealous of young love, jet setting, and being genetically gifted. And the fact that Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are totally twins is next level awkward. Like, accidentally matching with your high school English teacher awkward to the tenth power. But hey, if the president of the United States has made it abundantly clear that he finds his own daughter attractive, maybe it’s not so bad? Just kidding, it’s totally bad. Anyway, here are some times Hailey and Justin looked like they could be related. A post shared …

4 Ridiculous (But Effective) Ways Doctors Used To Save Lives

Without the benefit of hindsight, all medical innovations look like crazy people doing crazily stupid things. The first guy who injected himself with polio was by any definition a madman, but he was a madman who wound up saving millions of people, so it’s all good. But this nobly psychotic approach to healthcare has resulted in a whole slew of really weird procedures that are equal parts learned medicine and witch doctor chicanery. And some of them worked like a charm. For example … Read Next 3 Women Tested For Pregnancies By Injecting Urine into Frogs Modern folk don’t fully appreciate what an amazing convenience pregnancy testing kits are. Simply pick up a little plastic stick at the dollar store …

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Recap: Jax Bought A Baby Betches

Y’all: Dance, money, dance! Just kidding about the commercials, obviously. We’ve made it to episode 20 of season 7, which by my calculations, means this snoozefest of a season should be over soon. Thank god. Lisa comes up to talk sh*t about Schwartz and says “has he never heard of a cashier’s check”? That’s what I said last week! For some reason this legitimate criticism annoys Ariana, who thinks Lisa has been picking on the Toms. I don’t think she’s been picking on them so much as she has been pointing out their legitimate shortcomings, but ok. Jax wants to impress Brittany’s father without actually apologizing or owning up for his past actions. Jax’s ways of impressing Brittany’s dad goes …

6 WTF Post-Fame Lives of One-Hit Wonders

If you find yourself in the fading light of being in a one-hit wonder band, you basically have two options: 6 One t.A.T.u Singer Became An Outspoken Homophobe Remember t.A.T.u and their haphazard approach to capitalization? They were a Russian pop duo whose main hook was a faux-lesbian relationship between teenagers Julia Volkova and Lena Katina. Though the two often An Avengers Tattoo Just Made The Internet Lose Its Mind Despite fizzling out over the course of the aughts, t.A.T.u managed to develop a dedicated gay following, and even appeared at appeared on a Ukrainian game show in 2014, where she said she wouldn’t “accept a gay son” because she would want him “to be a real man, not a …